the worst thing;

Lord, grant me a quiet heart,
give me the will to concentrate,
a student with sole intent,
to make my work a sacrament,
all failure, fears that therein dwell.

In quietness, confidence and peace,
may i have quick and sure release
from needless fears and apprehension…

Dear God, Lord, despite the thousand times i’ve failed, Your mercy still remains, Lord. And even if i were to stumble again, Lord, You’ll still catch me with your never ending grace. Lord, now i just want to commit myself into Your hands again, Lord. Grant me the faith to believe in You again, grant me the child-like faith, Lord. Grant me the wisdom to know that even if all else fades, Your light will still shine. And Lord, now i just want to surrender everything into Your hands again, i want to let you take control of my life, and not just my life but also my worries, my burdens, my emotions, my thoughts, my heart, Lord, my soul Lord. my heart and my soul, Lord, i want you to reign in me again, reign over me, lord. Lord you are bigger than the air i breathe, you are bigger than my worries, you are bigger than my problems. Lord, i want to praise you again, Lord. Help me find praise in my heart again, help me trust in you again. Lord, you are the miracle maker, not me, and Lord, no matter what it takes, Lord, Lord i want to trust in you, i want to praise you, i want to stop relying on myself. I want to praise You, and i want to love you, Lord.

//

I’m waiting here for my life to change,
When the waters stir you can rearrange me.
Just one touch is all I need,
I’ve nothing much but the wounds I feel,
I’m looking for the hand of the miracle man.

Holy, you are holy,
Who was and is and is to come.
Holy, you are holy, Saviour, Healer,
I’m standing at the feet of the miracle maker.

I’m holding on, with your life in mine,
Living water’s come,
And you’ve rearranged me.

Holy you are holy,
Who was and is and is to come.
Holy, you are holy,
Saviour, healer,
I’m staring in the face of the miracle maker.

Holy, you are holy,
Who was and is and is to come.
Jesus, precious Jesus,
Thank you, Saviour,
I’m walking in the shoes of my miracle maker.
I’m standing with the faith of a miracle maker

rubbish.

hi. i think i’m going crazy.

i was hyperventilating just now, and walked home instead of taking a bus, and was much faster than usual. i got comforted.

but just a moment ago, i feel awful all over again. what’s happening?

could it be because of my papers tmr? and the past week has been so rubbishy that i don’t even know what’s going on.

i want to encourage people, and i know they need encouragements, especially now…but why do i feel like trash inside?

desires.

i want to post, but i don’t know what to write.

i feel very lonely, but i feel like i’m making use of the every inch of privacy i have now.

i feel sad, and worried, but sometimes i feel as though i’ve never been more carefree.

i feel contented, blessed, kept safe, but i don’t know why i’d burst into tears for no reason.

i feel as though this was what i wanted for many many years, hoping that you weren’t here, but now i wish you were here with me every single second.

i don’t want to cry, but before i know it there will always be hot tears rolling down my face.

and for no particular reason, i want the fever to come back, at least i’d be delirious and won’t see the gravity of the situation.

hi, i can’t think.

1.45am

and maybe, maybe God, i’m angry at you for making this happen :(

//

for the first time today, i had dinner without you, i didn’t even have to pack dinner for you. and for the first time today, i had to go home alone after service.

open my eyes to the work of Your hands.

never knew that my life could be that melodramatic.

older sister gets rushed to the hospital, younger sister doesn’t get informed until a friend called because she has exams. younger sister breaks down in the library, insists on going to visit her sister but wasn’t allowed.

many many people visited older sister, and talked to her, laughed with her.

the only difference in these hospital scenes from those on teevee is that there weren’t as much flowers, balloons, fruit baskets, homecooked birdnest and what not.

oh well, thank God there wasn’t school yesterday and today. and there’s still saturday and sunday to finish up my IH.

//

If my heart has grown cold,
There Your love will unfold;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.
When I’m blind to my way,
There Your Spirit will pray;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.

Chorus:
Oceans will part; nations come
At the whisper of Your call.
Hope will rise; glory shown.
In my life, Your will be done.

Verse 2:
Present suffering may pass,
Lord, Your mercy will last;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.
And my heart will find praise,
I’ll delight in Your way,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.

oceans will part;

If my heart has grown cold,
There Your love will unfold;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.
When I’m blind to my way,
There Your Spirit will pray;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.

Chorus:
Oceans will part; nations come
At the whisper of Your call.
Hope will rise; glory shown.
In my life, Your will be done.

Verse 2:
Present suffering may pass,
Lord, Your mercy will last;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.
And my heart will find praise,
I’ll delight in Your way,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.

//

i dont understand why i didnt like this song before…

why won’t i trust you, why won’t i rely on you, why am i so stubborn, when will i learn? its like falling into the same pit again and again…