the bubble of euphoria (:

I just got my uniform, and my mum thinks that I look like a durian in it. I’m quite happy though, which means I don’t have to hole myself up in a jacket anymore. 

My mum and sis reckons that I’ll be in TAF club but haha…I’ve got no comments.

My mum’s altering my skirt because its 2inches longer than the Nanyang one, so I got my mum to help me with the needlework. Anyway, now its shorter than my Nanyang one because its almost 4 inches shorter now. I feel like a ‘paikia’.

I’ve gotten most of my books but my humanities subject can be quite a problem.

It feels like p6 all over again, choose schools then after that buy new uniform, new books and new stuff. Well, I’ve even got a new tie. A new school badge. And apparently when the school year starts, I’ll get a name tag. That would be three things to look out for as opposed to one name tag. But in my opinion, brown is a colour too ugly to represent somebody.

I‘m was quite happy, but now after looking at my books :/ I’m feeling worried. I really have no idea how I studied last time so happily, without worrying. Now, I am. Gah! And heh ny’s supposed to be a tougher school to get into with a tougher syllabus.

I guess I’ve gone haywire.

Goodbye Nanyang, Hello Crescent

Alrighty, future doesn’t seem to bleak anymore now that there’s another way out, probably better too. But I wouldn’t know until the end of 2009. The downside is that I cannot slack anymore, and I cannot be distracted so…heh, don’t ask me out. (:

So I’m kind of like a Crescentian now but it’s not officialised cause I need to go to Nanyang tomorrow to get the principal to sign some form. I sound like a heck care kid huh. But I guess I am feeling irritated, annoyed, verge-of-tears, whatever.

Next year’s going to be interesting and challenging at the same time, but I suppose I’m going to take awhile to adapt. It’s pretty scary but I’ll live (:

Say hello to being a durian, or so my mum says. [Apparently I look like one to her in Crescent uniform...]

//

This’ irrelevant but I like this song (: It’s by Tegan and Sara! 

There’s a war inside of me
Do I cause new heartbreak and write
A new broken song?
Do I push it down?
Or let it run me right into the ground?

Oh I, I feel like 
I wouldn’t like me if I met me

Well I can’t stop talking for fear
Of listening to unwelcome sound
And you haven’t called me in weeks and
Honestly, it’s bringing me down

Oh, I, I feel like I wouldn’t like me if I met me
I, I feel like you wouldn’t like me if you met me

And don’t you worry, there’s still time
Don’t you worry, there’s still time

There’s nothing to live for
When I’m sleeping alone
And I wash the windows outside in
Hopes that the glare will bring you around

I, I feel like I wouldn’t like me if I met me
I, I feel like you wouldn’t like me if you met me

So you don’t you worry there’s still time
Don’t you worry there’s still time
So you don’t you worry there’s still time
Don’t you worry there’s still time
So you don’t you worry there’s still time
Don’t you worry there’s still time

Sunshine is days away
I won’t be saved, I know all the words
I can’t say that I’ll love you forever
Sunshine is days away
I won’t be saved, I know all the words
I won’t say that I’ll love you forever

the big fluffy bed.

You know how you were a little kid and all you did was ask questions and your dad would answer them, even if you kept asking and asking. You were a little kid and you were really tiny and your dad was really huge and he had the answers to everything, simply, everything.

But now that you’re almost a grown up, a young adult. You ask your dad some questions and he’s stumped and he really can’t give you something thats satisfactory. Your big dad no longer knew it all, and on some occasions, you knew more than he did. I’ve come to learn that your string of questions is never-ending, because we’re always looking. For something better, for something faster, for something more comfortable. 

I uh, ran into some trouble recently and at first, the next year seemed so bleak to me. How on earth am I going to get through all that? New classmates, new class, new environment, new seniors who were previously my peers. Mistakes of not working hard enough, not prioritizing properly were suddenly magnified to this magnitude, that became grievous past offenses. After a while, it didn’t seem so bad. 

Windows of opportunities came in and it lightened my mood to a degree to be cheerful even of this, mishap? But what I am afraid to know now is that all these windows of opportunities, they fail to come true and I will be brought back to where I started again, but probably with deeper scars that cut and may never heal.

You know how these little things gets magnified till it takes away your ability to think and make sense even to yourself? And half the time you’re wondering whether what you’re doing is a pure waste of time. This little things cover up your ability to sit down and concentrate on what’s important. But for now, I really have no idea what’s important.

I wish my daddy knew, I wish he knew the answer to this equation before I even got started. I wish my daddy knew.

But I’ve got another Daddy and He knows. He always knows and what He asks from me is just a little co-operation, a little faith. Its scary, really scary to try to take a step forward when you don’t even know whether its solid ground or empty air. But for all you know, a few meters below the empty, there could be a huge fluffy feather bed waiting to receive you. 

Monday.

p.s. and folks? don’t expect too much from me, at least for awhile. i know this shouldn’t be happening and i’m trying very, very hard to be a nice listening ear but i haven’t been up to that recently so i may not be as sensitive and attentive like i was.

maybe.

maybe that relationship was what I needed the whole time, so why was I complaining?

east to west

East to West never fails to remind me of my sins, but my sins which have been washed away. My sins which have been forgiven. My sins which have been overlooked because of God’s love. And that God’s love is above all else.